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Welcome !

Revive your relationship with a scripted conversation.

Sometimes a couple encounters a situation in which a conflict surfaces and undermines the joy in their relationship.

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The Return-to-Love Process™ charts a safe course through those turbulent waters with a situation-specific script for a kind, collaborative conversation between you based on the principles and practices of nonviolent communication (collaborative conversation) and mindfulness.  The scripted conversation sets a tone of respect and moves toward agreeable resolutions.  It takes the place of the all-too-familiar complaining-bickering-arguing that most couples do impulsively when they're hurting. 

The Return-to-Love Process™ is not a chatbot.  Each situation-specific script facilitates a human-to-human, face-to-face conversation between you and your partner.  This is a unique experience. 

Some people prefer to learn by reading books, then applying the principles and practices in the book. 

The Return-to-Love Process™ is for people who learn better by doing, starting right now.  The scripted conversation is a learning experience that guides you both toward understanding and empathy ... and maybe even a resolution of the conflict ... as you enact the script. 

Here's the process in a nutshell:  You identify a situation with the following components and enact a scripted conversation about the situation.

  1. The type of relationship between you

  2. The topic of conflict (or opportunity) presented by the situation

  3. A description of the situation -- your own, or one you both agree on, or two descriptions you each craft separately

  4. The unfulfilled, desired experiences each of you brings to the situation -- Here's the challenging part:  What do you want?  What does your conversation partner want that they're not getting?  (If you can answer this accurately, the probability of you having a partner interested in supporting you and getting your needs met goes way up.) 

  5. You request a script for a collaborative conversation about the situation.

  6. After reading the script, if there's something more you want to bring into the conversation or some way you believe the script is out of balance, you can enter a sequence of followup topics or simply change your description of the situation.

  7. The process extends the scripted conversation as long as you want in response to your inspiration and feedback (with no fee beyond the first script).

  8. Successive iterations of the script-generation process -- your inputs, a script for a collaborative conversation, your new awareness, revised inputs, etc. -- is a path to greater clarity about how you feel and what you want with your conversation partner.  Generating scripts is a way of refining your understanding of the situation.  When you're ready to bring it to your conversation partner, you're bringing more clarity and empathy to the situation.  Your self-awareness and greater confidence about the situation are gifts you're bringing to your conversation partner.

  9. You and your partner enact the scripted conversation and see how you feel then.  We've provided a guide for setting up a successful conversation.  At the end of the scripted conversation, you can continue impromptu if you feel you're making progress.

  10. We sincerely want to hear about your experience as partners in the scripted conversation through our send-feedback page.

Enacting the Return-to-Love Process™ scripts uplifts your self-awareness and emotional intelligence as you practice kind, effective communication about what really matters.


The Return-to-Love Process™ is relevant to these situations:

  1. Immediate conflict:  I have an immediate conflict with my partner.
  2. Approach someone:  I want to know how to approach someone to address a dissatisfaction or to apologize.
  3. Coaching:  I want coaching in the principles and best practices of collaborative conversation and mindfulness.

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This is an interactive process.  You tell the process where you are, and the process meets you there. 

We, the Open System Applications team, read every feedback post you send us.  We want to improve the process for you specifically as well as for everyone else.  At your request, we may reach out to you if we see an opportunity to support you in unique ways.

So, welcome to our world!  Reviving relationships through collaborative conversations and mindfulness is our thing.  You belong here.

 

Start now to craft a conversation about your troubling situation.

A true story about a scripted conversation that changed everything

Please send us feedback about your experience.

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