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Values of the Return-to-Love team

Open System Applications LLC is a small team of professionals.  Being in service to the health of relationships, including this one with you, our audience, gives us a sense of purpose. 
We vow to protect the privacy and sanctity of your personal information. 
We will not sell or share your personal information with anyone, for any reason. 
We will not use your personal information for any purpose other than to support your relationships with the The Return-to-Love Process™. 


We aim to contribute to each participant's evolution toward being more like the generously loving person they want to become.


The value you will derive from using The Return-to-Love Process™ is proportional to the curiosity and courage you invest in intentional conversations with others.  Listening for understanding and speaking your truth with kindness and vulnerability are superpowers we hope you will develop.  After a lifetime of behaving otherwise, you may find empathic listening to be challenging ... at first.  Or not.

We offer you our attention and presence.  Please let us know how we can better serve you.  We want to make it as safe as we can for you to engage in rich conversations and use your communication superpowers.

Unavoidably, some education results from engaging in collaborative conversation with scripts and other benefits provided by The Return-to-Love Process™.  This process facilitates effective practices and relationship outcomes to the extent that you participate — that is, engage playfully with the practices of collaborative conversation (nonviolent communication) embodied in these scripts and tools.  See how that feels different from what your family taught you (unconsciously). 

To monitor and improve the value of this process, we will read every comment you submit as feedback about your experiences using it.  Within our small team and while safeguarding your personal information, we will read some of your situations, unmet needs, and requests of the process, looking for oppportunities to clarify, simplify, and improve it. 

Imagine what an information breach would do to our reputation (not to mention our legal liability).  Without a reputation for the highest integrity, this process is sunk!  So we have skin in the game here with you. 

We do not ask that you trust us without evidence.  We intend to earn your trust over time as you and your relationships derive benefit from using The Return-to-Love Process™ and as you find us responsive to your needs and requests. 

Before asking you to pay anything for it, we want you to find value in the process.  (If you tell your friends and family about your experiences with The Return-to-Love Process™, we will appreciate it.) 

Profit from operating ReturnToLove.app is necessary for the continuation of our venture, but it's less important to us than enabling the broadest availability of the process.  We will offer a free account to any individual who makes a credible case that our small fees are onerous for them. 

Is it arrogant for us to hope this process might soften the highly polarized social and political environments in which we all live now? 


The Return-to-Love Process™ promotes these skills in participants


  1. Face our differences with confidence and speak with each other about them kindly to deepen our mutual trust and intimacy.

  2. Identify areas where I exhibit clarity and competence.

  3. Identify areas where I'm blind and incompetent in ways that are detrimental to my relationships.  Becoming self-aware includes consciously feeling when my safety monitor is protecting a particular identity from being seen, examined, assessed — by me and by others.

  4. Identify parts in a significant other that I'm not seeing or accepting or inviting to come out to play.  Invite the other person to tell me what they believe I'm missing about them.

  5. Identify my distinct beliefs.  Practice questioning the grounding of those beliefs — their epistemology* (how those beliefs were formed).

  6. Cultivate awareness of when I'm feeling the pain of cognitive dissonance — that is, consider new information while holding a belief that conflicts with it.

  7. Cultivate awareness of how parts of me are responding to reduce the pain of cognitive dissonance.

* Per a popular LLM:

Epistemology is a branch of philosophy concerned with the theory of knowledge. It explores the nature, origins, and limits of human knowledge. Questions central to epistemology include:
What is knowledge?
How is knowledge acquired?
What do people know?
How do we know what we know?

Epistemologists do the following: examine the criteria for what constitutes justified belief, distinguish between belief and knowledge, and explore the sources of knowledge, such as perception, reason, memory, and testimony.  They also consider the extent to which skepticism about the external world or other minds is reasonable.  Epistemology intersects with many other areas of philosophy, including metaphysics, ethics, and logic, as it lays the foundational questions about understanding reality and our place within it.