Ways to start using The Return-to-Love Process™

Revive your relationship with a scripted conversation.

If you're using The Return-to-Love Process™ for communication help about a troubling situation, there are two ways to start — apart and together.

To feel more contemplative and unhurried when you're taking the time to describe your situation of conflict and each participant's desired experiences, you might consider doing so apart from your partner.

Being apart when you describe your situation has some advantages:

There's less time pressure to think creatively. You may feel more confident about raising a thorny issue if you have all the time you want to imagine the other person's reaction and refine your description of the situation. (Or this could work against you if you have a fearful imagination.)
If you're alone, there's less risk of feeling threatened by the uncertainty of raising a thorny issue before you have a safe script for discussing it.
Since you're the one describing your partner's desired experiences in the situation, you're demonstrating what you already understand about their experience. If your understanding is accurate, this can show you care for your partner. If your understanding is off the mark, it can demonstrate where there's an opportunity for deeper understanding and connection.
There's a factor of randomness each time the process responds with a script. On occasion, the script produced by the process misses the mark. Sometimes, it's like it wasn't really paying attention, or it's in a dark mood. (You know how technology can be.) In those cases, simply resubmit your described situation again with the same inputs to get a more satisfying script. If you're alone when a clunker script comes back, there's less distraction and confusion for your partner.

After you've seen a script, you can enter text to specify a complaint or variation for the next try at a useful script.
Sometimes, when the matter for conversation may be explosive for one or both of you, it's best to bring a well-crafted script to the conversation. If you've described your partner's point of view with care, the script can be like guardrails to keep you on a safe path through the conversation.

Being together when you describe your situation has these advantages:

Your dialogue about the uncomfortable situation can be a rich shared experience.
You're making space for your partner to speak for themself about their perception of the situation and about their desired experiences.
Instead of handing your partner a script that you alone devised with The Return-to-Love Process™, the two of you are crafting it together. There may be less risk of your partner feeling blindsided or cornered.

This is an interactive process.

You tell the process where you are, and the process meets you there. We, the Open System Applications team, read every feedback post you send us. We want to improve the process for you specifically as well as for everyone else. At your request, we may reach out to you if we see an opportunity to support you in unique ways.

So, welcome to our world! Reviving relationships through collaborative conversations and mindfulness is our thing. You belong here.

A true story about a scripted conversation that changed everything

Describe your situation and get a kind script to help.