Welcome to The Work of Byron Katie as described in
"Loving What Is:  Four Questions That Can Change Your Life"

PersonA's unsettling thought or belief

Save my thoughts

Guidance for naming an unsettling thought:

1. To begin, relax and find your stillness inside.  Breathe deeply and slowly. 
   
   
2. Travel in your mind to a specific situation where you were fearful, disappointed, angry, sad, or hurt.
   
   
3. Witness the situation as if it were happening now.  Be there now in your senses.
   
   
4. Using the present tense, say what you're telling yourself is true as if you're thinking it in words right now. 
   
   
5. In your own way of saying it, without trying to improve it or "sanitize" it, write it down or type it in the field above.  Don't worry about grammar or spelling. 
   There's no wrong way to do this.
   
   
6. Notice the felt-sense experience of the emotions that were surfacing in that situation.  Feel it as if there's a voice inside you telling you about this right now. 
   Name the experiences, sensations, and emotions so they're easier to talk about and to come back to later.
   
   
7. Listen inside for the story you're telling yourself about why you were upset. 
   Add to your written thoughts anything that embellishes or clarifies how you're talking to yourself about the situation.
   
   


8. Then click [ Save my thoughts ].  You'll be able to come back to them later to look at them from a different perspective.
   
   

Q2:  "Can I absolutely know that it's true?" 
What's my evidence that it's true? 
What's my standard for deciding whether my perception aligns with verifiable truth?

Save my thoughts

Guidance for answering Q3:

1. This is like a mindfulness meditation for self-awareness.  As you repeat the unsettling thoughts to yourself, how does that affect your state of mind? 
   
   
2. You may notice feelings or obsessional thoughts or more self-talk.  Maybe it's just distracting or maybe it's like a runaway horse, unplugging you from what's happening in the present moment.
   
   
3. Or you may simply feel sadness or loneliness or hostility or ...
   
   
4. This exercise is to notice with acceptance whatever happens inside when you hold the unsettling thoughts and beliefs. 
   This is not an opportunity to regret your experiences or to try to change them.  This is a time to practice self-acceptance.  Liberation comes from acceptance, not invalidation or resistance. 
   
   
5. It's natural for your self-critic to pronounce judgments about you for holding these thoughts and beliefs.  Please notice that, too, and let it be.  When you're aware and accepting, you won't buy into the truth being sold by those judgments.  They're just more thoughts from which to free yourself.  They're not who you are.  They're simply like clouds drifting across the sky of your mind.  They come and they go as you notice them and let them go. 
   
   
6. Notice the felt-sense experience of the emotions that surface as you entertain the unsettling thoughts and beliefs. 
   
   
7. Add to your written self-observations anything that embellishes or clarifies your awareness of your mind's reaction to holding the unsettling thoughts and beliefs.
   
   
   
8. Then click [ Save my thoughts ].
   
   

Guidance for creating turnarounds:

1. To examine turnarounds, find opposites of the troubling statement of the unsettling thought or belief. 
   Often a statement can be turned around 1) to one's self, 2) to the other person, and 3) to the opposite. 
   
   For help creating lots of turnarounds from your troubling thought, click the button below the field: [ Please show me some turnarounds ]. 
   
   Some turnarounds may not make any sense to you.  It doesn't help to force these things.  Play with them. 
   
   
2. Turnaround to "my thinking"
   
   As you do The Work on subjects such as the body, disease, career, or divinity (e.g., "The Universe", "God", etc.), when you come to the turnarounds, substitute the words "my thinking" for the subject. 
   
   Example: "My body should be strong, flexible, and healthy" turns around to "My thinking should be strong, flexible, and healthy."  Isn't that what you really want — a balanced, healthy mind?  Has a sick body ever been THE problem, or is it your thinking about your body that gives you grief? 
   
   
3. Consider how each turnaround you find is as true as or even truer than the troubling judgment.  Find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true for you in that situation.  This is not about blaming yourself or feeling guilty.  It's about playfully discovering alternative ways of seeing what-is that can bring you peace. 
   
   
4. In the field above or on paper, write down the turnarounds and how you see they are just as true as the unsettling thoughts and beliefs.
   
   
   If you want help creating turnarounds for your unsettling thought or belief, click the button [ Please show me some turnarounds ] above. 
   
   
   
5. Then click [ Save my thoughts ].