Partner-sourced empathy -- The other person can feel your pain and treat it as valid without making it about themselves.
They can keep their felt-sense attention focused on you without snapping back to their own agenda.
Self-sourced empathy -- You can feel the pain of the other person and treat it as valid without making it about you.
You can keep your felt-sense attention focused on the other person without it snapping back to your own agenda.
How many of us have been taught how to identify and express our sensations and emotions ("feelings") in a kind, creative, vulnerable way that takes ownership for how we feel?
(Not in my family. Not in my school. How about yours?)
How many of us have learned how to listen to others express their feelings with enough of our felt-sense attention that we can feel our own sense of what they're feeling?
That's empathy.
We may be on new ground here.
Sharpening the skills of emotional intelligence is within reach ... with practice.
The Return-to-Love Process™ provides a way to practice empathy by enacting a script with a conversation partner about a situation that's troubling for at least one of you.
The collaborative conversation need not be constrained by the script.
The script provides a safe container for the conversation.
It sets a kind, respectful tone and moves toward better understanding and empathy ... and possibly toward a productive resolution of the uncomfortable situation.
"Brene Brown on Empathy" is a video with animation in which Brene demonstrates her inspired understanding of empathy and how to describe it in a felt-sense way.
The Return-to-Love Process™ is about learning to practice self-awareness and emotional intelligence as you engage in kind, effective, scripted conversations.
