Being present in warmth and affection with a partner

Touch exercise: Feeling at home in the presence of your partner. 

• One partner sits in a chair. 
• The other partner stands behind the chair. 
• The standing partner places their hands on the shoulders of the sitting partner. 
• They both close their eyes. 
• The standing partner says, “I am here with you.” 
• The sitting partner says, “I am here with you.” 
• The standing partner says, “I am here with you.” 
• The sitting partner says, “I am here with you.” 
• Together at the same time, the partners say, “I am here with you.” 

Standing partner, feel the sensations in your hands as you rest them on the shoulders of your partner. 

To yourself, name the characteristics of the sensations.  These are your private words to yourself.  They are not for sharing with anyone unless it pleases you to do so. 

And name the qualities of the emotions you may feel. 
Is comfort a sensation or an emotion? 
Is discomfort a sensation or an emotion? 
To what extent are comfort and discomfort co-resident in you right now during this exercise? 

Is there something your hands want to feel or do? 


Now, change places and go again.

For many of us, touch is our primary channel for feeling connected to others -- our love language.  One of the deepest and most universal human needs is to touch and be touched.  Infants can die without it.