Integrity is an absence of competing motivations.

When a situation occurs that calls us to respond, we have a choice. Our conditioning may prescribe impulsive reactions with short-term rewards at the expense of our long-term well-being.

When our response is focused on creating a specific, near-term outcome, such as shaping another person's impression of who we are or manipulating their perceptions of us to gain a level of trust that's not supported by our truth — that is, by our real perceptions and values — let's call that duplicitous motivation. When our response is informed by self-awareness of the ultimate consequences of our present choices and by our core values, let's call that integrity-centered motivation. Making choices that reinforce our core values and our self-awareness is how we build integrity — that is, an absence of competing motivations.

Acting without internal conflicts gives us greater power to manifest outcomes that serve our long-term well-being.

Pragmatic choices can have the effect of splitting our energy when they conflict with our core values. We may feel compelled to act in a way that has a short-term reward but which is inconsistent with our core values. Each time we invest our energy in a choice that's inconsistent with our core values, we reinforce the conditioning that leads toward that choice, deepening the divide between our pragmatic and integrity-centered motivations.

A midlife crisis may land on us after years of making pragmatic choices at the expense of our deeper values. It's a crisis because the ways we've been living our lives are no longer satisfying. At the level of our core values, we feel a sense of emptiness, a lack of meaning. We know we can't continue on our current course, but we have no momentum in the direction of the change we need to make to become whole, to feel more fulfilled. Those of us who've been through a midlife crisis know that it can be a time of turmoil, confusion, and even despair. A crisis is a situation where danger meets opportunity. In a space of despair and feeling empty, we have a chance to re-evaluate our life choices and begin the hard work of investing in ways of being that have short-term costs with long-term rewards.

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